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Turning 50 (with lobsters)

Published: Jul 29, 2013 · Modified: Jul 29, 2013 by Michael Ruhlman · 39 Comments

 

A birthday celebration done in style. Photo by Donna Turner Ruhlman.

A birthday celebration done in style. Photo by Donna Turner Ruhlman.

All I wanted for my fiftieth birthday was to eat all the lobster I could, with a good white wine and a Blanton’s bourbon after.

I remember when my mom turned fifty because Donna insisted on doing something special for her, while I lamely lay in bed, scratching my head (within the hour she’d marshaled friends and chartered a plane to Key West for lunch).

My dad did a fifty-mile bike ride on his fiftieth with his girlfriend Pat; she was incensed by the arduous journey (“Rip,” she hissed, “you don’t need a woman, you need a machine,” to which he replied, “I just realized it’s my fiftieth birthday”).

They were so much older, fifty an impossibly remote age to me, a 25-year-old. Yet here I am now, on that very day. In a wistful column on aging rocker Mick Jagger and others, Gail Collins writes that Paul Simon, who’d penned the words in his youth, “how terribly strange to be seventy,” confirmed that while it wasn’t bad, it was indeed strange.

So, yes, strange to be fifty, as well. How did I get here? I’m still not sure but I do know it was only half intentional.

I got my first book contract when I was 30 (happily on my Dad’s 55th birthday).

I finished The Making of a Chef in 1997—that changed things for me. But not immediately. Donna and I were forever worrying about money. Broke, looking for a cook’s job summer of 1997, I went to an obscure restaurant in Bainbridge, OH, and walked out more or less with a plane ticket to The French Laundry in Yountville, CA.

I wrote The Soul of a Chef concurrently with The French Laundry Cookbook because I didn’t know what else to write; I wrote it so fast I was sure it was garbage and prayed no one would call me on it.

lobster and butter

A chef-author I’d read, Anthony Bourdain, reviewed it for the New York Times Book Review. When I was in New York, I met him at his restaurant, then we met Eric Ripert at the bar Siberia, the original one, and drank beer, and the next day Eric and I flew to Puerto Rico for the winter installment of A Return to Cooking.

In 2003, after writing books about wooden boat builders and pediatric heart surgeons, I called my friend Brian Polcyn and asked if he wanted to help me write a book about Charcuterie, about animal fat and salt and preserving food. My daughter was now eight and my son four.

In the fall of 2006, I began this blog.

In the summer of 2009, not long after the iPhone was introduced, I gave into my compulsion to explore the idea that our fundamental preparations could be reduced to relative proportions and wrote Ratio. A year later, with the help of Will Turnage, I turned it into an app for smart phones.

The year after that, I published a book claiming there are only twenty things you need to know in order to cook just about anything. It won Beard and IACP awards, and as it was my first real collaboration with Donna, it is a book that remains enormously important to me.

A year ago, on a whim, Donna and I self-published a single-subject cookbook for iPads. We were going to do more, but I joined a new publisher who asked to publish the book in hardcover. The Book of Schmaltz will be out in a couple weeks.

I’ve got more books to write for Little, Brown. But I can’t help but wonder if I have anything relevant to say anymore. I probably don’t, nothing new anyway, but I can say the important stuff over again so nobody misses it.

lobster wine dinner

This is important: since none of us knows when we’re going to die, the first rule of life is to have a good time. I would add a corollary: it’s important to have your Last Meal as frequently as possible (me: oysters, steak frites). And on my fiftieth birthday, a year and a day after Donna’s, I want to have all the lobster I can eat.

wine1

I can lift a glass of this wonderful Riesling to Donna and thank her and tell her how lucky it is to be fifty.

lobster dinner2

If you liked this post, take a look at these links:

  • My recent post on pasta, asparagus, and an egg.
  • Learn more about lobsters at the Lobster Conservancy.
  • Rieslings are a perfect summer wine.
  • On oldie but goodie video of Bourdain and Ruhlman cooking in the kitchen together.

© 2013 Michael Ruhlman. Photo © 2013 Donna Turner Ruhlman. All rights reserved.

 

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tory S

    July 29, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Happy birthday, sir!

    Ratio forever changed the way I think about baking; 20 invited me to explore technique in a new way. I know I'm not alone in saying that I'm immensely grateful for your contribution to Amateur cooks everywhere.

    Ad multos annos!

    Reply
  2. Anton Zuiker

    July 29, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Can't help but believe that your list of accomplishments will continue to grow, to 60, 70, 80 and beyond. I see lots of lobsters in your future!

    Reply
  3. Dale

    July 29, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Happy birthday!

    A few weeks ago I celebrated my 80th. A couple of martinis, a dry aged tenderloin, a bottle of Brunello and a runny chocolate cake.

    Had I known that I was going to live this long, etc., etc.

    However, I just can't make myself believe that 80 is the new 60.

    Reply
    • Allen

      July 29, 2013 at 5:32 pm

      Very inspiring, thank you! You know how to have a good time Dale. Very happy birthday to you, good health and happiness.

      Reply
  4. Mitch

    July 29, 2013 at 10:08 am

    L'Chaim!, Michael. We hosted our most enduring and dear friends this past weekend and on a whim checked the Market Basket (yea!) circular and found lobsters at $3.99/pound. We steamed them outside on the dock and devoured two a piece with ears of corn and a bottle of a dry Riesling and another of un-oaked Chardonnay. Our toast: "Good food ALWAYS tastes best with good friends". May all our Last Meals be repeated as often as possible.

    Reply
  5. cleek

    July 29, 2013 at 10:41 am

    Happy Birthday !

    thanks for the blog, and especially for the bread app - before that little app, i'd never made an edible loaf of bread!

    Reply
  6. Michaela | serifandspice.wordpress.com

    July 29, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Happy Birthday Michael! I wish you many more wonderful life changing accomplishments as years unfold and I look forward to reading about them.

    Reply
  7. Barbara | Creative Culinary

    July 29, 2013 at 11:46 am

    You'd best not stop because I have more to learn. On your fiftieth birthday I stood talking to a young manager of the meat department in a small, local specialty foods store. I was there to pick up pork belly to make more bacon, something I would never have considered if not for the year long dive into Charcuterie along with Cathy Barrow and others. He was in the process of starting his own small business offering charcuterie to small outlets and knows your book well. We had a great discussion but it's maybe more meaningful today as I read this post.

    You can cite legions of known names that have been a part of your career but maybe it's those of us who are unknown, just regular folks, who have read some of those books and maybe had a life changing moment that really are a testimony to your years. Trust me...making my own Maple Bourbon Bacon is indeed life changing!

    Happy Birthday!!

    Reply
  8. ...pat.

    July 29, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I love you two! Michael, for your writing, Donna, for your photography; both of you for your passion for food. I'm sure you will find more things to write about food in years to come: sustainable food is becoming more important, GMOs and pesticides are raising people's eyebrows, and we're all becoming more concerned about the source and quality of our foods, which will of necessity lead us to find articles about what can be done with sustainable, quality foods.
    I look forward to reading and seeing more stuff from you two for the next quarter century.
    Your work has staying quality.
    Happy birthday, Michael, and sorry I missed your monumental birthday, Donna!

    Reply
  9. Kathy S.

    July 29, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Happy birthday to you! I'm a couple of years behind you but I realized in reading this article that I'm only about 6 weeks away from being the age my mother was when I got married. And I was no child bride. Yowza. Anyway, enjoy your day! And your lobster!

    Reply
  10. Skip

    July 29, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Happy Birthday, Michael!!! Glad you have a ritual dinner!!!

    Reply
  11. Susan

    July 29, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    Happy Birthday! You've accomplished a lot in your 50 years and touched many lives, that's a pretty productive life so far. Don't rest on your laurels, there's a lot of life left. It's a good age to explore the science of nutrition. I'd read what you discover.

    Reply
  12. Michael

    July 29, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    Happy Bday Mr. Ruhlman. I was first introduced to you through your book, Soul of a Chef, and then enjoyed your banter with Bourdain on his TV shows (especially Cleveland episode of No Res). Have pretty much the rest of your books now too, and am LOVING the Twenty cookbook in particular. Have become a huge fan of your writing as well as world view and hope you will come to the Pacific NW again soon!

    Reply
  13. Saffoula

    July 29, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Wishing you a belated happy birthday from a member of your ever-growing fan club!

    Reply
  14. former butcher

    July 29, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Best wishes for your birthday, Michael. Keep writing!

    Reply
  15. Allen

    July 29, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Happy birthday.
    Keep it fresh and memorable, like Donna's photos, and you writing.
    May they last a long time.

    Cheers, good health and happiness.

    Reply
  16. Mike

    July 29, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    Happy Birthday, Michael! This was another good read... 🙂

    Reply
  17. Ryan

    July 29, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    Happy Birthday Michael! Mine was yesterday, though no big milestone like 50. Great family storytelling. You've made impressive use of your first half-century, and I am positive that you're a long ways from running out of relevant things to say! Cheers!

    Reply
  18. kate hill

    July 30, 2013 at 3:20 am

    M, it's been a lollygag until now.This is when you start to crank and realize that time is exponentially building on all your early work. Choose those next projects well... and Bonne Anniversaire from Gascony.

    Reply
  19. Stephen D

    July 30, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Happy birthday, sir.

    Reply
  20. Natalie Luffer Sztern

    July 30, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    Happy Birthday Michael. You are the 'new 50' which means you really aren't older than 40..I know because I am only 46:))

    Reply
  21. Mantonat

    July 30, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    Happy 50th and thank you for putting every bit of your 50 years of passion and experience into every word you write.

    Reply
  22. Kurt

    July 30, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    Happy birthday, and thank you....I've been a bit on edge, hitting the big 4-0 on Friday, and this (and some Blanton's, great minds think alike) really raised my spirits.

    Reply
  23. Fritz

    July 31, 2013 at 4:22 am

    What a perfect birthday celebration! The love-of-your-life, lobster aplenty, melted butter, candlelight and an offset spoon to complete the scene made it ideal for you. Personally, the Badass spoon I bought for my recent birthday is a great treat to own and it will surely assist me in the many quests for my Last Meal.

    Reply
  24. Tom Jensen

    July 31, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Happy Birthday, I just turned 53 on Saturday. Treat yourself to a colonoscopy. Don't put it off. I got one in January and two weeks later the doctors cut out 6 inches of colon. Had I gone in at 50 the doctor said there was a 90% chance that I would not have had cancer.

    Reply
  25. Dean McCord

    July 31, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    I turn 50 in less than 2 months. I'm inviting everyone I know to a huge party I'm throwing for myself. I've got a local chef, Ashley Christensen, cooking for me. And I will have a good time. You're welcome to join us, Michael. It will be fun. And happy birthday.

    Reply
  26. Jon

    July 31, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Happiest of Birthdays, Michael. Congrats on hitting the big milestone, on celebrating it with the people who matter most to you, and reflecting back upon a great life to date--with many more adventures ahead (especially if you continue to hang out occasionally with Bourdain).

    Also, I am greatly enjoying the thought of you, Bordain, and Eric Ripert at the original Siberia bar. I can only imagine Eric's reaction to that place.

    Reply
  27. Zalbar

    July 31, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    "But I can’t help but wonder if I have anything relevant to say anymore."

    You've written about learning to cook. You're written about cooking and crafting cured meat. You've written about the thought processes of chefs and this craft of ours.

    I would be interested in hearing about the before. The farmers that bring us our heritage breed meats. The care they take, why they do what they do. The farmers that bring us our produce. The organic movement and how it has changed over the years. Sustainability. All of this is something to bring to the public. It's important, and the questions to be answered are endless.

    Remember that freshly pulled from the ground still warm from the su new potato pulled from the ground and eaten? You should tell us about those potatoes.

    You wrote about a restaurant in Maine that you visited that fascinated me. Farm out back, and a lot of hard work and dedication put into the menus and meals.

    Happy Birthday,

    O Captain! My Captain!

    Reply
  28. Canice

    July 31, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    What a nice retrospective, and what a fine life.
    I'm almost 49, grew up the youngest of three. Neither of my siblings lived to my current age, and I believe they both wished to see 50.

    Reply
  29. lux

    July 31, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    Reply
  30. joeinvegas

    July 31, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Happy Birthday! And eat more lobster.

    Reply
  31. Bent4bubbles

    July 31, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    Wishing you a very happy birthday indeed!

    Reply
  32. Michael Ruhlman

    July 31, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    You all are so, so kind to read and take the time to comment. I'm really lucky. Thank you so much. Not looking forward to that colonoscopy though...

    Reply
  33. April

    July 31, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    Happy Birthday! I "discovered" you five years ago while on deployment to Afghanistan. I read The Making of a Chef in a day, and decided you were the most clever person alive - figuring out how to get into the CIA and then later getting to hang out with all my favorite chefs. I immediately ordered The Soul of a Chef, The Reach of a Chef, and the French Laundry cookbook. My base was tiny - no shops, no food outlets, but we got mail (occasionally) and I devoured each book - they were my little escapes from often tragedy-filled days. I wish I had gotten pictures of me adapting Chef Keller's recipes for our meager kitchen - cooking with our local interpreters during Ramadan. We pulled off some amazing feasts. Your books made me excited about cooking - and five years latter I was able to put that passion to good use cooking dinner for my husband's 50th birthday. Cheers to you!

    Reply
  34. tea_austen

    July 31, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    The important stuff is always worth saying, over and over again. You may surprise yourself yet. I very much expect that you will.
    Happy Birthday, Michael. And happy every day. As I am getting older I realize how important it is to celebrate Tuesday as much as any holiday. It's about making the moments, the memories, isn't it? Here's to many more of them.
    PS. While I really like you quite a lot, I think I love Donna. Happy, happy to you both!

    Reply
  35. Seth Diamond

    August 08, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Michael... If it wasn't for my reading your book "The Making of a Chef" ten years ago, I wouldn't have had the courage to ultimately change careers, go to culinary school, start Food Biker, and follow my dreams.

    You've set the bar incredibly high for writing and culinary multimedia. Don't stop, whatever you do, and the world continues to look to you for inspiration.

    Wishing you a very happy belated 50th birthday and keep going!

    Reply
  36. Brad McNeal

    August 16, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Hi Michael, been a reader and admirer of your work since your appearance on the Splendid Table, years back, talking about stocks. This turned up in my inbox today. Sorry Amazon, I have this work, still my favorite of all.

    Walk on Water: The Miracle of Saving Children's Lives
    Walk on Water: The Miracle of Saving Children's Lives
    by Michael Ruhlman

    List Price: $16.00
    Price: $12.55
    You Save: $3.45 (22%)

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Malaysian Chili Lobster | MoBitesFood says:
    September 15, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    […] https://ruhlman.com/2013/07/turning-50-with-lobsters […]

    Reply
  2. Letter From New York | Michael Ruhlman says:
    September 30, 2013 at 11:48 am

    […] how it happened. When my mom asked me what she could give me for my 50th birthday, I said “A Broadway show and a nice meal, just the two of us.” The restaurant she […]

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Hi, I'm Michael! I'm an award winning author and trained cook who writes about chefs, food and cooking..

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